Accidental Influencers.

The origin story.

The Beginning.

It is the end of 2020. Life is … different. The world is different. Our routine, our sense of knowing, our time together; all had changed. It was against this backdrop that our then 12 year old, Beckett, asked to download an app called TikTok. I (Courtney) was leaving a career in non-profit work to launch myself as a professional speaker while Josh had just started his role as the worship pastor of a new church. We were all in transition.

I had heard of TikTok as the once known app Musical.ly. At the time, I was hesitant to allow our children on social media so I decided to download TikTok to check it out. I was hooked. The algorithm did the algorithm thing, serving up video after video of joy, laughter and of course DANCING. For many, TikTok of 2020-2021 was the app’s peak time. Covid had sent us searching for connection, answers and entertainment and TikTok was ready to serve it up online.

One of the culture imprints of those years was the rise of TikTok dances and “trends.” Having grown up as a dancer, I decided to teach my boys how to dance and make a dent in the hours they were spending on their iPads and YouTube. Using TikTok as a template, we started to learn simple dance trends. All three of our children enjoyed learning and dancing, however, the time together opened up a whole new world of interest for one of them. I am sure you can guess which one :) That was the beginning.

Going Viral.

If you remember the social media landscape of 2020-2021 you will remember that TikTok had the advantage as a video sharing platform. It was the most downloaded app, globally, in 2020. Instagram launched Reels to compete with TikTok and respond to the monumental shift in social media user behavior. It was in that window of time that I posted our first “viral” video online, using my personal Instagram account. I was familiar with Instagram and knew my community. The first video I posted on Instagram was a very mild version of a dance by our (newly discovered) favorite TikTokers, Cost-N-Mayor. I downloaded the video from TikTok, posted and put my phone away.

Several hours after posting I opened the app to a flurry of notifications, comments, shares and new followers. I (honestly) could not find where the video had went. I could see the video on my grid, however, I did not understand how other people who I did not know were seeing it. I thought we had been hacked. Having never used Reels, I did not realize that our video was being sent to other users’ feeds. We had posted on TikTok a few times with low views so I was unfamiliar with the concept of a “for you page” video going viral. It was wild.

If you were to search for this video on Instagram, you would not find it. Some time after going viral, I removed a lot of our first videos because we couldn’t keep up with the derogatory, homophobic and hateful comments about letting our boys dance. More on that topic later .. it deserves it’s own newsletter.

But of course we saved the video. Grainy and all. Perhaps this video landed in your feed!

And that’s it. That is how it all started. Quiet by accident. Our account exponentially grew following another video featuring a bucket hat. You probably remember Jude’s swag. Unfortunately the song in that video didn’t age well. Remember the song?

Growing Pains.

With the sudden boom of activity on my personal page, it took us several months to decide to convert my personal Instagram page to a family page. Our original TikTok page, named lbpenny for no reason other than the boys thought it was slick, was banned shortly after joining for age violations. TikTok has a user age requirement of 13. Any time I posted just the boys we were flagged and then eventually banned. We took a year off TikTok, primarily posted on Instagram and worked to make our accounts safe.

Why is Mom in the videos?

I get asked this question in many round-about ways. There are a few answers to this question. To start, um I love to dance. So yeah, I am dancing in these videos. Second, I could tell you stories that would make your skin crawl about the messages we have received soliciting our children. Videos featuring just the boys dancing ended up on the dark web. We hired a company to remove them, but those videos sent a lot of unwanted traffic to our page, and there are still a few out there. Instagram’s algorithm started featuring our family page on the explorer page of users that enjoy young boy content. It was such a mess.

We found that videos with Josh and I present were not as likely to be circulated, so we decided to be in every video until the boys were older. Third, when we reengaged on TikTok we wanted to follow the age guideline. To do so we needed to be in the videos and the account needed to belong to a parent.

Last thought - Listen, if anyone is telling you to sit down and stop doing something you love you GO RIGHT AHEAD AND DO THAT THING BIGGER, LOUDER, LONGER. Especially if that thing is bringing goodness into the world. Go ahead. Dance anyway.

Is Mom a professional dancer?

That’s a no. Not even close. I grew up dancing at a small studio in Tennessee where I am from. I know my way around an eight count. I can dance, but I am no where near professional level. Josh and Liam send me videos of professional dancers doing dances that they think we should try. They gotta keep dreaming. My knees could never. Liam though, he could hang.

Do Jude and Beckett still dance?

Yes, at home. Not as much online anymore. We respect their boundaries as interests have changed. They are always down for playing a game, a challenge, blindfold taste testing or travel and basketball content. And if the vibe is right, an occasional TikTok dance.

What about Josh?

If we’ve been asked “where is the father” once, we’ve been asked it 100 times. WHERE IS JOSH? It makes us laugh because he is always .. here. Josh is a multi-talented singer and musician. He is in two local bands, he is the worship pastor at a church here in Iowa, he is deeply thoughtful and creative and he is our children’s number one fan. All three of them. He does a lot of content editing, shooting and helping Liam grow as a singer.

Does Liam want to be a professional dancer?

Liam has a million dreams. Really. Among them is dancing professionally, yes. On Broadway? Maybe. Liam booked a commercial in November and he caught the acting bug, so landing another commercial or being cast for a TV show/film is high on the dream list.

Why don't you have a family vlog or active YT channel?

Simply stated, long form video is a ton of work. We briefly thought about getting in the YouTube game and quickly learned what was required to do it well. It. Is. So. Much. Work. As with all content creation, curating engaging and professional content is much more than setting up a camera and pressing record. We are going to stick with YouTube shorts for now.

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Okay, so that’s the first scoop friends. We will keep answering your FAQ’s throughout the year. Thank you for telling us how you found our family on Instagram stories. As I mentioned - some days I wonder if human beings are really out there on the other side of the app. And then, you let us know how watching a family dance together healed a part of your story, or you share that you were bullied for loving to dance so you stopped. You tell us thank you for letting our children be themselves and you tell us that you are trying something new because of a video you saw on our page. You’ve shared your trauma and your joy and I want you to know we read EVERY word. We really do. Your stories matter and I hope that we continue to bring an ease to your online feed and joy to your days.

And when we say we are in it with you - we mean it. Our life is lived with heartache and with challenges, with ups and with downs AND with excitement, promise, laughter and togetherness. We experience good and bad days too.

Thanks for being here. Really.

Now, go dance after you enjoy this gem from the TikTok archives.

Till next time - Courtney.

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